The countdown begins.

I have returned from my short break in Morocco. I relaxed and was pampered, ate well and shopped til I dropped. It was fantastic and just what I needed for a little distraction.

Will tell you about a funny thing that happened while we were there.

There were three of us on this mini break, Carolyn, the birthday girl, Elaine, her best friend and myself. We arranged to have a half hour massage in the spa after half an hour in the steam room. Elaine was getting a little anxious as she was quite hung up about her tummy area after having 4 children, had never had a massage before and was fretting about the practicalities, what to wear, what they would do and Carolyn and I spent some time  describing our experiences. We decided that with just 30 mins the massage would just be a back and shoulder massage, that Elaine wouldn’t have to worry about being embarrassed or being topless as they were very discreet and kept you covered with towels the whole time.

The time came and we were led away separately to a small darkened room each and would meet up afterwards in the changing rooms. My masseuse asked me to remove my top and lay face down on the bed and covered me with soft fluffy towels -just as I had expected. She then began to massage the backs of my legs -Ok I thought leg and back massage that will be nice. Boy she was firm. I winced as she used the bones in her arms to squeeze the living daylights out of my calves, first one then the other. She covered my legs and moved to my back. It was a little hard to relax as she was pressing so firmly, she didn’t speak English and I would have found it impossible to explain to her in French, let alone Arabic,  so I let her get on with it. After doing my back she asked me to roll over, covered my top half discretely and began on the front of my legs – thank goodness we had all shaved our legs before our treatment!. I was mortified when she then removed the towel from my top and I lay there, ample breasts flopping indelicately over to the side and taking refuge somewhere under my armpits! Help I thought what is she going to do now – all thoughts of relaxation had just stampeded towards the door. I managed to stop her just before she started kneading my stomach. “No no, non merci”. I was terrified that she would use the same strength on my belly as she had my legs and back and some way burst my cyst! She pointed to my arms instead and I nodded and she carried on with the  treatment.

When it was finally over , I didn’t really feel relaxed at all, I just kept thinking of all the useless advice we had given to Elaine and how she must be feeling. I slurped backed to the changing room (slurped because my flip flops were filled with body oil!). Where my traumatised friends waited for me. “I am so sorry, I really didn’t think it would be a full body massage”I blurted. I explained that I had declined the stomach massage and the other two continued to look rather perturbed as they explained that it wasn’t just the stomach ! ” She did our boobs as well!” they screeched. It had been Elaine’s worst nightmare. But we laughed for ages about it and laughter is definitely the best medicine.

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