20th June

What a tiring day today has been. I was awake at 5.30 and couldn’t get back to sleep again.  My Hubby got up for work at 6.15 and my youngest joined me in bed at 6.45. We all got up at 7.15 and I dragged myself round the house sorting breakfast and lunch boxes and all the usual pre school organisation. Mum helped but as soon as she had gone to take the boys to school I was ready for bed again. I slept from 8.45 until 11.15. showered, washed my hair, SHAVED MY LEGS (!!hurrah), dried my hair and was ready for bed again. After lunch we went to the school to watch the boys in their sports day. My friend Kathy had bought some deck chairs and left them for us to collect and we spent the whole afternoon on our backsides watching the action whilst everyone else stood up.

I felt like a celebrity with everyone coming over to see how I was, telling me I looked really well, showering me with  hugs and kisses , such a lovely response.  I really didn’t think that people would be so concerned. I have been over whelmed with the reactions from friends and acquaintances, the sheer number of tests and facebook messages has really surprised me. It had made me realise what wonderful friends I have and I am very thankful for their friendship.

This evening I have been very tired but don’t really want to go to bed early in case I wake at ridiculous O’Clock again.

Tonight I learned that Malteesers taste very nice but they do not give you energy!


18th &19th June

Today I have been thinking about people who go through surgery for vanity reasons. I am struggling to comprehend why someone would actually chose to go through abdominal surgery, or indeed any other kind of surgery. Why would anyone wish to endure the effects of general anesthetic, why would someone chose pain when they could avoid it? I think of all these vain teenage girls who think that with bigger boobs and a tummy tuck they are gaining a better quality of life.

My two Caesarians and one hysterectomy have been the most amount of pain I have ever suffered, the most incapacitated , the most exhausted I have ever been. It’s the  scariest things I have ever been through. I had no option to undergo these procedures and although I may have joked about a tummy tuck or a boob reduction I would never put myself through the experience again.

How can some one get addicted to surgery, a nip and a tuck, a face lift, a couple more inches on the bust? Their choice, certainly not mine.

Fri 17th June (Hday +10)

The wound is no better so I ring the doctor’s surgery to get an appointment with the practice nurse. The receptionist spoke to her and then  told me I needed to see a doctor  – I presume that he can prescribe antibiotics if I need them.

No shooting backwards on the examination table today – and also nothing to worry about with my wound. It is still gaping a bit but apparently as long as it isn’t oozing foul smelling green or brown gunge then I am alright. Got some more dressings so I can change them regularly but over all the doctor seemed impressed with the speed of my recovery.

Another walk up to the shop upon my return, perhaps I should have extended the walk but my heart wasn’t in it. My mood had dipped a bit this morning but the doctor told me it wasn’t unusual to feel down a few days after surgery. No visitors to distract me today and Jon is working very hard and I don’t like to interrupt him, so quite a solitary day.

Jon nipped to Subway and treated us to enormous sandwiches for lunch – is so good to me but what about my healthy eating AGAIN!

Had a lovely long sleep after lunch with some very strange and it has to be said erotic dreams! Been much more tired today even though I have done no more than sit in front of this lap top all day.

Thurs 16th June (H day + 9)

More visitors today but first a walk to the shop at the top of the road – just a 2 minute walk each way.  It’s a slight incline on the way there and I was a little out of breath but my tummy didn’t pull and I felt fine – apart from the bit where I had to walk past a load of builders where they are building a new house and I was acutely aware of my delicious looking support stockings….don’t expect they noticed though.

True to form Kathy arrived with carrot cake and jammy shortbread – my will power appears to have been removed at the same time as my ovaries and we devour the carrot cake in seconds.

It is so nice to be distracted from the subject of my surgery and the impending results of the biopsies and we chat about our kids (7 of them between us) and school and family and friends. A lovely girlie gossipy morning.

Mum went home this morning  and Jon had been working from home. It’s nice having some time for just us two – but he spends most of his time working on the computer.

The phone rang in the afternoon – my consultant.

WONDERFUL NEWS!The biopsies all came back clear  nothing to worry about he said…just get on with recovering from your surgery and he will see me 6 weeks post op. How I wish I could run round the room whooping and jumping – but instead I settle for a contented sigh, a muted “Yahoo”. and a huge, squeezy hug from Jon.

I start texting my friends and ring Mum and Dad to give them the good news. Nothing can hold me back.

Jon went our this evening to see Peter Kay. I am bummed – I bought the tickets for him for Christmas and I have been eagerly waiting to go for  months – now he is taking someone else 😦

The bottom of my wound has been painful tonight and upon investigation it looks a bit weepy. Will see how it looks in the morning and perhaps go to see the doctor or nurse if it is no better.

Weds 15th June (H day +8)

Stitch removal day – and I  started to get worried the moment I woke up. It’s that fear of pain again.

Two friends came to visit this morning, Michaella bought a dozen homemade cupcakes …uh oh – bang goes the healthy eating again. Jeanette came laden with flowers and chocolates – the result of  a collection from the Year Two Mums in the school playground. The house is looking like a florists shop – and smells wonderful. I had to shoo 2 bees out of the house today – obviously attracted to all the pollen in this place!

My friend Nicky recommended that I took as much pain relief as I could an hour before my appointment and that would help. So I drugged myself up and Mum took me to the doctor’s surgery in the car. She very helpfully told the nurse that if I was a big girl and I didn’t cry she would buy me sweeties! For goodness sake I am 46!

I clambered as elegantly as I could onto the couch and lay back – and shot backwards at a 100 miles an hour as the head rest bit wasn’t securely in place so I ended up completely flat and with more pain from the unexpected backwards catapult effect!

It hurt when she clipped the bead bit off at the top and bottom and then I started deep breathing in preparation for huge pain when she started tugging at the string/cord/cotton ( don’t know what it is). I never felt a thing!

The nurse had to put me a couple of steristrips  over the bottom of the wound as she said it was gaping a bit. If it oozes or becomes painful I am to return to the surgery, possibly for antibiotics.

The scar is a little flatter, less puckered now the stitch is out. I seem to be healing very well.

Tues 14th June (H day +7)

One week gone already and I feel great. I haven’t experienced the amount of pain or exhaustion I was expecting and I am beginning to suspect I am getting an easy ride here.

I had at least expected to have experienced some of the signs of menopause but so far nothing. I checked on the Hysterectomy association facebook group of girls who have June operations and it seems I am not alone. My body temperature does fluctuate quite a bit but I certainly couldn’t describe it as having hot flushes, my mood is good, infact feel super happy most of the time am I am no more emotional than usual ( I have always cried at soppy stuff on the TV!). Let’s hope this continues.

I can not stress enough how helpful I have found the “June Jamborees”  facebook group. We discuss anything and everything and it is a tremendous source of information and support.

Had a new and not pleasant experience today- sneezing! I didn’t get enough warning to grab my soft pillow to hold against me and boy did it hurt. Coughing is still very uncomfortable too.

Managed a sleep after lunch and when I woke I thought Mum had gone to pick the kids up from school but I found her sitting on the sofa reading. ” Erm , Mum, you should have left for school by now!” Major panic as she raced out of the door – who is supposed to be helping who here?

Mon 13th June (H day + 6)

Slept a little better last night but was still wide awake when the alarm went off at 7.15. I lay in bed but couldn’t hear any sounds – Mum had said she would wake the boys at 7.25 but …nothing. So I had to get up and wake everyone up – getting out of bed is getting easier every time.

It is so easy to do more than you think you are doing, pottering around finding lost items of clothing, filling up school bags, getting breakfast and refereeing arguments. Mum did the lunchboxes, cleaned the shoes, cleared up the breakfast and walked the kids to school so she did the hard work but I was knackered and took to the sofa with painkillers and a cup of tea.

Did absolutely nothing this morning and then retired to bed for a rest after lunch. I managed to sleep on my side a little last night but sleep did not come to me after lunch and I watched some mindless rubbish on tv for a while in stead. I came down stairs to find that it was Mum who had fallen asleep for an hour!

We took the dressing off my wound today. I was surprised to see a clear plastic bead held in place by a piece of crimped metal at the top of my wound and Mum says I have one at the bottom too. This must be the one continuous stitch that the consultant told me about and I understand the nurse will just cut off the beads and pull the stitch out – yeuch.

I am amazed at how quickly it is healing. It is starting to itch a lot too and I am trying to moisturise as close to the scar as I can bear. I thinking of  getting some Bio Oil to try to reduce the scarring – but it is expensive and it’s not as if I will ever be wearing a bikini!So the jury is out on that one.

Problem with these days of doing nothing is that there is nothing to write about. The pain is being controlled well by Ibrufen and paracetamol, I am eating and sleeping well and my mood is good… nothing bad to report.